Independent people sometimes make the mistake that they don’t need anyone to accomplish that which they want.
On one level that is true. And, it must be true. If we need somebody holding our hand, we cannot be independent business owners.
However, life in this business can be pretty lonely. And, if we are honest with ourselves, we will sometimes avoid tough things because we feel alone and scared.
Hard things are easier and a lot more fun when done in partnership.
This doesn’t mean creating a team or sharing your business with anyone.
It does mean aligning yourself with people who believe what you believe, are dedicated to their success and will push you beyond the boundaries of what you thought was possible.
If you try to go this road alone, there is a substantial likelihood you will accomplish exactly what you have accomplished in the past.
The Peer Group, The Master Mind, Your Team of Masters, Your Strategy Group.
They all mean the same thing; independent people committed to something greater in their lives capitalizing on empowering association.
These groups are most powerful when you surround yourself with people who are committed.
Committed to what?
Not just hoping for, wanting more, dreaming.
Committed and willing to do the work, knowing they don’t have all the answers, but they are willing to try, fail, explore, succeed and share.
Human beings produce exactly the results they believe in.
HERE IS THE CYCLE:
- BELIEFS, self-image/perception of what is possible in life, CREATE HABITS.
- HABITS CREATE RESULTS.
- RESULTS REINFORCE BELIEFS.
In order to shift our results, we must change our beliefs.
Most people focus on changing habits. They work hard at it and often fail, over and over again.
Until you change your image of self, your perception of your own worth, YOUR HABITS WON’T CHANGE.
Why? Because the results those attempted new habits will produce, are inconsistent with what you believe about yourself. You don’t believe you are worth the money, the body, the relationship. Your habits work to keep the world consistent with your image …. of the way it is supposed to be.
…we CAN change what we believe.
BELIEFS CHANGE AS A RESULT OF:
- HIGHLY EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES – Most often these experiences are the negative ones we unconsciously focus on that reinforce our need to protect ourselves. These negative experiences reinforce habits that keep us safe and results that keep us small. Sometimes, but more rarely, they are powerful and positive enough that we start changing our habits.
- A COACH – A coach is a hired professional who digs deep into your sabotaging beliefs. A good coach will help you replace limiting beliefs with new empowering ones, creating a new sense of what’s possible. A great coach will inspire you to come up with answers on your own. You also get to borrow the coach’s belief in you, which propels you to new and affirming action.
- A STRATEGY GROUP – The people you intentionally surround yourself with. If you are around people with great energy, doing good things in the world, learning and growing, only one of two things will happen:
- You will adopt that way of being, affecting change in your life and contribute back to the group.
- You will be ostracized from the group.
THERE ARE 2 TYPES OF GROUPS THAT CLAIM TO BE STRATEGY GROUPS:
- THE EXCUSES GROUP – Surround yourself with people who say they want something and will allow their excuses (thereby allowing you to have excuses) to get in the way. Fear based behaviors drive these groups. There are no standards, no expectations. They meet, they whine, they all feel better for a little while because MISERY LOVES COMPANY.
- THE STRATEGY GROUP – No, they are not perfect. People will fail. Shit gets in the way. But a committed group of masters says, “what are you going to do about it?” You didn’t get your stuff done today, do twice as much tomorrow. You want to be a better husband or wife, show up and do what you said you were committed to. How the other person responds is just an excuse. You want more business, make the calls. Yes, it’s scary, get over it.
Do the people in my group need to be in my industry? YES. There may be power behind forming your group with people outside your industry to reduce the commiseration, but there are downsides. You are still working alone and put yourself in a position of feeling as though no one in YOUR GROUP understands the challenges you face in your business.
However, the character of the people is what’s most important. The commitment to change, the willingness to agree to a set of standards and be accountable to those standards.
WHO SHOULD I LOOK FOR?
- People who are performing in some aspect of their life at a very high level
- People who are willing to call you out when you show up with excuses
- People who aren’t going to show up with excuses
- People with aligned values to yours
- People who have had enough and say they are committed to change
- People who are excited about sharing their progress with others, while humble enough to know they need help
- People who are hungry.
How many people should be in my group? A group can be as few as you and one other person, and I recommend no more than 8. An ideal size is 4-6.
What should the standards be? Your entire first and possibly second meeting will be dedicated to establishing your Rules of Engagement. You must have standards, expectations, time frames, commitments, consequences.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS FOR RULES OF ENGAGEMENT TO GET YOU GOING:
- We meet twice a month on Tuesdays at 9am for 2 hours.
- We take the month of July off.
- You can miss 3 meetings throughout the year. 4th miss and you are out.
- If you are late by 30 minutes or less, it counts for ½ a miss, more than 30 minutes a full miss.
- For extenuating circumstances, the group can vote (unanimous) a member back in (death in the family and missed two months straight).
- What happens in the group stays in the group. No discussion with friends, spouse, kids, parents. Absolute confidentiality.
- Absolute honesty. No drama. Any issue arises between group members it is dealt with by those members immediately.
- Phones and computers are off.
- Each member is expected to focus on their contribution to the group, show up to WOW. It’s about what you put into the group, not what you get back out.
- Monthly we are responsible for a 10-minute presentation about our business. Key performance indicators are measured and an assessment of progress is provided by the owner followed by 10 minutes of question asking by group members, probing into the business and finding flaws.
- Monthly discussion of personal matters or any time they become so important the member needs help.
- A member wanting to leave the group will be celebrated.
- Any group member can be voted out by a majority for lack of performance, energy suck, etc.
- If the group wants to hire a coach, bring in a speaker or subject matter expert, majority vote and costs are shared. If a member refuses, they are out of the group.
- We commit a minimum of $1,500 each to a trip each year for pleasure or development. This is voted on by the group.
Be demanding with the performance of your groups and expect them to be demanding of you.
Otherwise, why have one?